


Black and Deep Desires

by bubblewrapstargirl



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Pre-Relationship, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 22:37:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2749700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblewrapstargirl/pseuds/bubblewrapstargirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU from after 4x07. Nick and Adalind are not lovers, friends, or allies - and they certainly don't trust one another. But they <i>are</i> having a baby.</p><p>[This was a prologue to a longer fic, but after the events in the show, that fic has been jossed so wonderfully well by canon that it's now just a standalone instead]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black and Deep Desires

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Shakespeare's Macbeth;  
>  _Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires._

Adalind lay awake in her new room in the Viennese palace. She was clinging on to her sanity by a thread. Her ill-fated attempt to escape had only served to remind her how truly alone she was, and now she had no way out, save for remaining in Viktor’s good graces.

Hexenbiests were not naturally sociable wesen. Adalind had never had many friends; at the high school she’d attended, there were only three other Hexenbiests, but witches had a reputation for being backstabbing bitches for good reason. They were too competitive, and Catherine had been an overbearing mother, always breathing down her neck. Adalind had never been encouraged to get involved with team sports or other activities that might have resulted in allies when she most needed support and comfort.

Throughout the centuries, Hexenbiests had served Royals. Adalind had always known she would end up in the shadows, alone and unrecognised, whilst the Royals basked in the fruits of her labour. She wasn’t entirely bitter about it; after all, when you lived unnoticed, you could have a lot of fun making mischief for humans. As a young woman, she’d caused a lot of grief and destruction, experimenting with spells and learning how to master the dark arts of her ancestors. But all that had changed when she swore allegiance to Sean Renard. She hadn’t planned on falling in love with him; hadn't even thought she would be capable of finding a half-breed attractive. Her first impressions had been _very_ wrong. And then the Grimm had come along and torn all the delicately balanced threads of her life to shreds.

Adalind was under no illusions anymore; about herself or her situation. She was not a good person, and she’d never been the most skillful manipulator. But Adalind’s one goal - survival - had been replaced by something else. She was determined to get her daughter back, and get herself out of Viktor’s clutches. It was foolish of her to come here, and as her stomach rolled in protest, she knew it had been wrong to steal the Grimm’s powers. Kelly Burkhardt had Diana, and, if Adalind ever did escape, the Grimm would never tell her how to find his mother. She would have to find Diana on her own.

-*-

Nick rubbed his sweating palms against his jeans in trepidation. He’d tried to propose to Juliet for so long now, and something always ruined it. He hadn’t planned any big gestures this time - he was just going to ask her, simply, whenever the moment felt right tonight. No big speeches or over the top shenanigans. He was going to tell her he loved her, and wanted to be with her forever, and ask for her hand. Simple. There was no need to be nervous. The worst she could do was say no... again.

Juliet was quiet, when he got home that night. He tried to enquire about her day, joke about his, but she didn’t smile. When she sat him down on the sofa, he knew it was going to be bad.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, hoping it wasn’t wesen related. With Wu still furious with him and Hank, tensions at work were high. Nick was hoping for a reduction in drama this week.

Juliet wavered for a moment, conflict marring her pretty face. “Nick... I took a pregnancy test.”

For a moment white noise filled his senses, and he felt his temperature plummet. Though he wasn’t in front of a mirror, he knew his skin had gone grey. They were having a baby? Juliet startled, jerking back, but when a grin broke out on Nick’s face, his natural skin colour quickly returned.

“Are we... you-” Nick trailed off, puzzled when Juliet’s sad expression remained.

“No.” she finally said, dropping his gaze.

A knot of disappointment tightened in his stomach. Nick hadn’t known, until that moment, just how much the prospect of fatherhood appealed to him. He always wanted the picture perfect ending with Juliet, but at some fuzzy, far-off junction. But they weren’t getting any younger, and life had just settled into a routine again. Maybe now was truly the right time to get married and think about having a family of their own.

As though she could see what Nick was about to say, Juliet interrupted. “Please, Nick. There’s something I have to say.”

He didn’t like the sound of that, but Nick nodded anyway.

“Since I took that test, I’ve been trying to work out how I feel about it. About... us.” She paused, worrying her lip with her teeth. “I like children. I always intended to be a mother some day. But Nick... looking at that negative test, all I felt was relief. Because any children we have - they could be like you. Grimms. Cursed. Always looking over their shoulder, chased by wesen...”

Nick felt his heart begin to hammer, pounding in his ears.

“I’m sorry, Nick. I thought that I could do this. I love you... but I want a normal life. I want to get married and have children of my own. But I just can’t do that... with you.”

-*-

The following day, Adalind woke, and immediately fought back the nausea, closing her eyes against the bright morning light. She had been trying to convince herself the recent tempest in her stomach was a result of all the turmoil she’d been through lately, but now she knew she’d been fooling herself.

She’d had unprotected sex with the Grimm - and then run straight into Viktor’s open claws. She hadn’t had access to any kind of contraception whilst running for her life with Martin Meisner, and it wasn’t exactly a high priority during her short stint in Portland. She’d been incredibly stupid.

Only a few weeks since birthing her daughter and losing her, and Adalind was already on the road to repeating the cycle all over again.

She curled her elegant fingers into the rich bedsheets, holding back a scream. Viktor probably had her room bugged, and there was absolutely no way he could find out anything was wrong with her. If he discovered this pregnancy... a new Grimm, brought up by the Royals, could be a very powerful weapon indeed. Adalind allowed herself one slightly hysterical chuckle. She was going to become a broodmare for powerful children.

But no more. No one was going to take this child from her. She opened her eyes, and sat up to face the new dawn. She had work to do.

-*-

Nick had tried to plead with Juliet, to explain that none of the Grimms he knew had been able to see wesen at birth, but without a book of Grimm lore or any scientific research, his protests fell flat. Her mind was made up, and she marched out of his life, and didn’t look back.

The house was so lonely without her. They’d had so many good times here, but so many disasters too. And gradually, Nick began to realise how little support Juliet had offered him. Her problems with his work as a Grimm had always superseded his - she’d always been so quick to lay the blame at his feet whenever anything went wrong, and as he built a new routine without her, he felt a lightness wash over him.

Juliet had been a crutch, tethering him to his old, human life; but he wasn’t that man anymore - and he didn’t _want_ to be. Being a Grimm was difficult, but it was also his calling. He was good at it. And he didn’t want to imagine a world without the friendships he’d made with wesen such as Monroe, Rosalee and Bud.

He’d been furious to lose his powers, and the feeling of completeness when he got them back was akin to nothing else he'd ever experienced. Nick was a Grimm, and that was who he wanted to be.

Juliet was strong; she’d find someone else to love. Nick was finally ready to close that chapter of his life and move on.

-*-

Adalind stirred the sweet tea in front of her, considering her options. She couldn’t kill Viktor. The Verrat would hunt her down. And so far, she’d not seen an obvious opportunity for escape. Her room was too high to climb out of the window, and she was under guard everywhere else. She had no access to Zaubertrank or a Grimoire. She would have to rely on her wits, and the spells she knew by heart.

She knew a potion for enchanted sleep - but she’d never have access to the ingredients. Aside from that she’d memorised simple spells to confuse and befuddle. But there were too many palace staff to disable, and Verrat guards lurking around every corner. What she needed was a spell to make herself unnoticed.

True invisibility was notoriously difficult to achieve, and Adalind wasn’t strong enough to maintain that level of enchantment, especially after all her body had been through in the past months. There was only one spell she knew that could be of use: _Verbergen im einfachen Anblick_ , which was intended to hide important objects from humans and other wesen. Her mother had used it on anything related to spellwork in her house, in case of unexpected guests. It was the perfect spell, because it allowed objects to be out in the open and yet ignored.

There were only two issues with it.

The first was that it not intended to hide living creatures, wesen or otherwise. Adalind had no idea how it might affect her, or the baby, if she cast it on herself.

And secondly, it was one of the spells Hexenbeist were immune to. The palace was a hive of activity at all hours; Viktor was constantly summoning Verrat and other minions to do his bidding. Adalind had no idea how many Hexen or Zauberbiests would be there on any given day, or how powerful they were.

She took a delicate sip of her tea. The Resistance no longer cared what became of her. Sean had betrayed her. No one was going to rescue her; no one cared enough to try. She had to rely on herself. _Verbergen im einfachen Anblick_ was her only chance. The next time Viktor was called away on business, she had to take it.

But first, she had to prepare. She’d have to steal weapons, sensible clothing and other supplies to help her survive, as well as some form of transport. And when the time came, any Hexenbiest who got in her way would suffer a quick, ignoble death.

Adalind Schade was done being the pawn in someone else’s game.


End file.
